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34 weeks, 5 days

5 weeks, and 2 days to go until the due date. I'm starting to get a little anxious wondering if she'll be here early or late or.. when the heck is she getting here?! I wouldn't mind having her 2 weeks early, to be honest.. easier for me.. and completely safe for her. I just want her out of me and into my arms.

I woke up this morning and since it's Thursday my mom is out running errands.. and I'm starving and for some fucked up reason I am so absent-minded that I cannot decide myself what to eat. I've never been so stupid in my life. It's worse than weed.. or liqour.. or anything. Pregnancy turns you into a RETARD. So.. if you want to have a baby.. do it at a time where you have nothing important to do. Seriously. Not a good idea.

All the good talk shows have been taken away to make room for the bullshit talk shows. The Bonnie Hunt Show? Who the fuck gives a damn about Bonnie Hunt, or what SHE has to say? Nobody. Anywhere. She's just that girl from Jumanji. wtf. I could get my own talk show.

It's crazy to me that I'm keeping up with this thing again, especially since nobody reads it. Oh well.

I miss Will. I wish he were here. Sigh.

yay baby beds.

Today was HARD for me. I had to go with my mother to get some things for the baby. Not hard because I was out with my mom, but hard because I had to GO OUT in general. By the time I got home I was in so much pain and I could barely breathe. It felt so nice to lay down and calm myself. After I got somewhat stable I went over the things we got.

** Bassinet (SUCH a relief). I was stressing over this one, I needed one so bad and I couldn't find one I liked that wasn't a jillion dollars. I finally did, and now I have one and it's fucking adorable as shit.
** Pack N' Play - What a neat thing. It is a play pen that converts into a bassinet when you add this thing to the inside of it so now going to stay somewhere with her will be super duper easy if we ever need to do so. It's really easy to put in the car too because it easily breaks down into practically nothing and you don't even have to disassemble it. Radical.
** Convertible Car Seat - WOOT! I have an infant car seat that she can use until she's 30 lbs, but now I have one to put in Will's car and that I can use when she gets to be a little chub a lub and while she's an infant. This is something else I was stressing about.
** Shopping Cart/Restaurant Booster Seat Cover -- it's to keep her entertained [and safe] while she's sitting in the grocery cart.. and the same in the hard uncomfy booster sears/high chairs restaurants provide. It's cool. It has all sorts of toys for her to mess with and a teether attached to it. I have a feeling this is going to help me de-stress in public.

And now I enjoy being at home.. mmm I love it. I'm so used to it that there's no place else I'd rather be usually. I just want to lay down all the time. It's the only comfort I have. (physically) I just want Lucy to be here and I'll be 100% happy.

32 weeks, 3 days

I'm pregnant as fuck.

My parents just went out to eat, I want what they are having.

I'm also miserable as fuck (physically). I'm pretty much 100% officially bed ridden as of yesterday. I went to my doctor's appointment.. saw that the baby is okay.. she's 4 lbs 0 oz.. lots of brains.. still female.. all that shit.. then as SOON as I walked out of the doc's office my back just shit on me. I had to sit in a completely retarded position all the way home in the car so that I didn't absolutely lose it, then I literally cried myself to sleep (shoot me now) because my back felt like it was being taken apart.. one disk at a time. Wtf. Hate it.

Being in bed all day brings me WAY too close to my television. "Oh Megan! You should read something!" Yeah, I'd be more than willing to do that if I could hold my fucking head up for more than 10 minutes.

Oh yeah, and Lucy has flipped over so now she's head down.. which means it looks like I'll be ruining my vagina as opposed to being cut open and having a really radical video to show my friends. A lot of people say it's better to pop the baby on out through the good ol' vag-o.. but seriously.. I was real excited about them ripping into my guts.

Not too much longer now, and the most beautiful human being in the universe will be here. woot.

what a day..

I talked to the doctor this morning and she put me on bed rest for the day.. so that's just exciting. I only get up to pee and get something to eat/drink. I don't ever feel good so I don't really leave my house anyway, but now I can't even go to the damn grocery store. Tomorrow is my baby shower, and I'll be fine for that. I'll just find a place to sit and stay there.. hoping people will be nice enough to maybe bring me a drink every 30 minutes. Whenever I do stand up, I feel like an amputee with phantom limb. It's weird as fuck. The doctor said I'm having a lot of Braxton Hicks contractions and that has a lot to do with the abdominal cramping and back aches.. but I should just lay around and drink water and do nothing else. ugh. As long as I don't start bleeding or have water breakage, I should be fine though. I go in on Tuesday for that ultrasound, which will reassure me everything is really okay with Lucy. I'm always worried.. this hasn't been easy at ALL.

Well, time to chug water and watch some lifetime.


I have to find a cardigan to go with my dress for the baby shower. I hate getting clothes while being pregnant, it's the most annoying thing in the entire world. I wish the damn dress just had longer sleeves, lol.

Tuesday I have my next ultrasound.. we're going to look and see if lucy has changed positions at all.. if she's turned over (which I don't think she has) we'll have a normal delivery. If not, the probability of a c section is very very high. Either way, I just want her here and healthy.

It's a really dreary day. Rain and clouds and cold. It's definately set the mood for shopping, haha. So far, 20ish people are coming to the baby shower. More than I thought, it's kind of exciting. Hopefully I'll have a good time and get some things I really need.

Nov. 5th, 2008

Our president is black ya'll!

haha. You fucking go Obama. Get down with your bad self.

That man shoulda came out doing the hustle.

Obama 2008. :)


juuuust another manic mondayyyy

Tomorrow is Tuesday, which is also election day, which is ALSO my birthday. I'm not exactly excited.. nothing is going on except a child birth class where I'll get to watch videos of c sections.. but I guess at least I made it another year. I guess.

Today is doctor appointment day. A very confusing one. I was originally scheduled for 2:15 pm, then they called yesterday and re-scheduled it for 8:00 am, then when I woke up this morning I had a message in the voicemail saying they'd moved it BACK to 2:15. What.. the fuck. Make up your mind. If I get there at 2:15 and they tell me "oh, it was for 8 this morning" I'm going to have a tiny lil freak out then go on with my day.

Anyway. Yeah. I guess I should get in the shower soon, and get ready for my oh so fun day at the doctor's office.

Say NO to tootsie rolls!

The videos were disgusting, but the worst part was my teacher talking through the ENTIRE thing. I think I heard 3 words said by the video. It was incredibly annoying. I wanted to get up and punch her in the gut.

Then she gave people in the class tootsie rolls (except me, eww) and listening to someone eat a tootsie roll is one of the most disgusting things ever. I have a problem with mouth sounds. (breathing, eating.. anything) and I swear.. I almost pulled my hair out one hair at a time.

Sylvia Browne kind of creeps me the fuck out.
Tonight at child birth class.. I will be forced to watch a video of a woman giving birth, from a very unflattering angle. Wtf WHY? I'm not even going to watch myself do that. They actually tell you "feel free to bring a mirror so you can see her crowning!".. um, what? no. Anyway - I'm kind of nervous about that. I've been in a labor and delivery room while a friend of mine had her baby, but I was NOT 5 inches from her crotchal region. I'm nervous about the fact that I could puke, or pass out.. or something of that nature. That's fucking embarassing, and I'm pretty sure passing out while you're pregnant isn't the healthiest thing to do.


Yesterday was a hungry, hungry day. Actually the last 2 days. I wanted to eat everything I could get my hands on. I don't have too many days like that, but when they happen - boy oh boy. lock your cabinets. I'm eatin ALL yo food.

My hair smells like sweet sweet lavender and it's super thick ((and super dry)). thanks baby girl! the thick part rules.

boy oh boy

I do love oatmeal. It's the best.

Waking up to oatmeal, toast, and married with children is the life. Pretty soon it will be oatmeal, toast, and baby crying, which will be equally as pleasing to me.

www.freecycle.org is an amazing thing. Try it.

I have really nothing to say, I just don't want to slack on this journal anymore.